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Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!pad-thai.aktis.com!pad-thai.aktis.com!not-for-mail From: rsk@gynko.circ.upenn.edu (Rich Kulawiec) Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.mst3k,rec.answers,alt.answers,news.answers Subject: Mystery Science Theater 3000 FAQ Supersedes: <tv/mst3k/faq_750484811@GZA.COM> Followup-To: poster Date: 12 Nov 1993 00:00:33 -0500 Organization: Cardiothoracic Imaging Research Center Lines: 1863 Sender: faqserv@security.ov.com Approved: news-answers-request@mit.edu Expires: 26 Dec 1993 05:00:14 GMT Message-ID: <tv/mst3k/faq_753080414@GZA.COM> Reply-To: rsk@gynko.circ.upenn.edu NNTP-Posting-Host: pad-thai.aktis.com Summary: cast, show list, catch phrases, mailing list, archives, etc. Keywords: mst3k, mst3000, Joel, Crow, Tom Servo, Clayton, Frank X-Last-Updated: 1993/11/08 Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu rec.arts.tv:109724 alt.tv.mst3k:14996 rec.answers:2937 alt.answers:1198 news.answers:14539 Archive-name: tv/mst3k/faq Version: $Header: mst3k.faq,v 1.21 93/03/21 08:53:04 rsk Exp $ This is actually a test to see if I've discovered why updated versions of the FAQ aren't being posted. If this shows up on Usenet, then I've found the problem. (I'll know; please don't send mail telling me that it made it.) If it doesn't show up, then I'm very confused. In either event, updated version of all MST3K-related FAQs are in the pipeline. ---Rsk This is the "Frequently Asked Questions and Answers" mailing/posting for fans of "Mystery Science Theater 3000". It was originally written in the summer of 1991, and has been revised from time to time since then. You should probably check the date in the "Version" line above to make sure the copy you're reading is reasonably up-to-date before sending corrections. Speaking of which, corrections should be mailed to: rsk@gynko.circ.upenn.edu AND should have a "Subject:" line that indicates that the message contains corrections to the MST3K FAQ. ---Rsk Q. What it's all about, really? A. MST3K is "Mystery Science Theater 3000", a program carried by "Comedy Central", which in turn is carried by various cable companies here and there. (MST3K was originally picked up by "The Comedy Channel", which merged with "Ha!", changed its name to "CTV" and then to "Comedy Central".) The idea of the show is simple: pick really bad movies (e.g. "Gamera", "Daddy-O", "Cave Dwellers", "Fugitive Alien", etc.) and heckle them. There are two elements that make it fascinating... 1. The cast of characters. Our hero, Joel, has been blasted into space by his bosses at the Gizmonic Institute, who are actually subjecting him to these films in order to assess his reactions. Joel, a pleasant enough fellow, has constructed Tom Servo, Crow, Gypsy, and Cambot from various pieces of his spacecraft in order to have someone to share his plight. Unfortunately, in putting them together, he used up the parts that control when the movies begin and end... Back on earth, Dr. Clayton Forrester and his henchman Frank select each week's film and inflict it on Joel and his robot friends...who respond by unmercifully shredding it from beginning to end. We watch the whole movie sitting in the theater behind them...except for the portions surrounding some of the commercial breaks where they do parodies, annoy Frank and Clayton, etc. (Their microproduction of the Wagner/Sandy Frank epic "Gameradaemmerung" was terrific.) 2. The heckling is good. REALLY good. What makes this worth watching is that their heckling comments draw from such a diversity of sources; in a five-minute stretch one recent Saturday, they referenced "This is Spinal Tap", "Moby Dick", "2001", the Wall Street Journal, Don King, Buddha...and more. The writers for this show are incredibly culturally literate -- and they keep in touch with current affairs as well. Think of them as smart-asses who read the New York Times; you have to be mentally nimble to follow some of their comments. MST3K is the funniest thing I've seen on television since the original Saturday Night Live (circa late 70's). Watch it. Tape it. Heckle it. Q. How do you join the fan club? A. Just send a letter to: MST3K Information Club PO Box 5325 Hopkins, MN 55343 You'll get a lifetime subscription to the MST3K Satellite News (formerly The Binding Polymer), with letters and interviews, merchandise order forms, etc. and Your official MST3K fan club certificate, which is a full 8 1/2 by 11 and Your official MST3K fan club card, attached to a yellow neon flyer. The text on the flyer reads: "This is your MST3K MEMBERSHIP CARD. Display it proudly, carry it always. Keep it close to your heart, because if you keep it in your back pocket it will get all sweaty and yucky and start to come apart and you won't want to show it to anyone. Or, you could take it to one of those places at the bus station that have those neat laminating machines and make it way cool. Or, don't. See if we care. In any case thanks for being a new member." The card itself is 3 5/8" wide by 2 3/8" tall (if you cut on the dotted lines) and is quite suitable for carrying in a wallet. The card bears the image of an atom (generated by computer) as well as the legend "MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 FAN CLUB. This certifies that (space for name), is an official member of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Fan Club. Member# (space)." You'll also be on the mailing list of MST3K fans. You'll get notices about schedule changes, offers from Best Brains, Inc., discounts on merchandise (e.g. T-shirts), and other goodies. Q. Is that different from Comedy Central's mailing list? A. Yepper. To get on CC's list, contact: Comedy Central 1775 Broadway New York, NY 10019 (212) 767-8600 Q. Back to MST3K - so what's this Live Survival Kit thingy? A. Well, if you send a check for $5 (payable to "Best Brains, Inc.") to them, you'll get: (If you're in Minnesota, add 6.5% sales tax, by the way) A piece of paper enclosing several other sheets, marked "Classified - contains top secret MST 3000 Fan club material". When you unfold it, the inside is the "MST 3000 'MOVIE SIGN' Home Viewing Simulator (MSHVS)", which has the familiar picture of theater seats and Joel and the bots at the bottom, with the instructions : INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Cut out. 2. Place on your TV screen. 3. Gather your favorite pals. (Or build them out of spare parts.) 4. Look for a goofy movie or dumb TV show. 5. Say stupid (and clever) things. The sheets contained inside are: A list of episodes for seasons 1 and 2, e.g. the MST3K Experiment Guide with the lyrics to the Love Theme on the other side. The MST3K Technical Journal Vol 1 No 1 and Vol 1 No 3, and/or some technical updates. "Spark-O!" The best brains wacky rolling action figure (a really crude cut-out that you're supposed to tape together and put on top of a marble) The MST3K Price Rebel Icon merchandise temple catalogue, which includes such items as the MST3K Fluid Containment Vessel (a MST3K mug), the Mad Scientist Clock, the MST3K Official Command Cap the MST3K Bumper Stickler (a clear sticker that has the logo and "MOVIE SIGN" in black, the MST3K Life Survival Kit, T-shirts (S, M, L, XL), and Fan Photos: - Joel, Tom, Crow, and Gypsy on the Satellite of Love - Dr. Forrester and Frank in Deep 13 (note: autographs are not real...they are part of the photo) Q. What are the lyrics to the opening song? A. "Love Theme from M.S.T. 3000" In the not-too-distant future, Next Sunday A.D. There was a guy named Joel, Not too different from you or me. He worked at Gizmonic Institute, Just another face in a red jumpsuit. He did a good job cleanin' up the place, But his bosses didn't like him, So they shot him into space. We'll send him cheesy movies, The worst we can find (la la la). He'll have to sit and watch them all, And we'll monitor his mind (la la la). Now keep in mind Joel can't control When the movies begin and end (la la la), Because he used those special parts To make his robot friends. Robot Roll Call: (Let's go) [ Some debate on "let's go" ] Cambot (Pan left) Gypsy (Hi girl) Tom Servo (What a cool guy) Crooooooooooow (Wisecracker) If you're wond'ring how he eats and breathes, and other science facts (la la la), Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show, I should really just relax for Mystery Science Theater 3000..." (c) Best Brains Inc., for sticklers. Q. Didn't the lyrics change? A. Yup, they used to be different. We're not exactly sure what they are yet, but something like: In the not-too-distant future, Next Sunday, A.D. There was a guy named Joel, Not too different than you or me. He worked in a satellite loading bay, Just polishing switches to pay his way, He did his job well with a cheerful face, But his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space. We'll send him cheesy movies, The worst ever made, Joel says when you have lemons You make lemonade, Now keep in mind he can't control When the movies begin or end, Because he used the extra parts To make his robot friends. Robot Roll Call: Cambot Gypsy Tom Servo Crooooooooooow If you're wond'ring how he eats and breathes, and other science facts (la la la), Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show, I should really just relax for Mystery Science Theater 3000..." Q. How 'bout an episode guide? A. Well, there used to be one *right here*; but it's been moved to a separate posting because it's starting to get too big. Q. When is the show on? A. (All times EST) Saturdays 12:00 am (i.e. Friday midnight) Saturdays 10am Saturdays 7pm (repeat of previous show) Q. If I have a satellite dish, can I pick up Comedy Central? A. Yes, both the East (Galaxy 1, transponder 1) and West (Galaxy 3, transponder 23) coast feeds. The West feed runs the same programming as the East, but is delayed by three hours. You do need to subscribe to Comedy Central first, though, which requires you to have an IRD receiver (VideoCypher II Plus). The a la carte subscription price is somewhere between $5 and $10 per year, and is available through a number of vendors. Many vendors offer subscription packages that include Comedy Central as well. Check any satellite TV guide for their ads and pricing. Q. Who plays what part in the show? Magic Voice: Jann Johnson (production coordinator) did it for one season; Alexandra Carr, Ellen McDonough and Kevin Murphy have done it since. Joel: Joel Hodgson Gypsy: Jim Mallon Dr. Clayton Forrester & Crow: Trace Beaulieu Dr. Larry Erhardt & original Tom Servo: Josh Weinstein Frank: Frank Conniff Tom Servo: Kevin Murphy Cambot: Himself Occasional extra characters, such as Jack Perkins, the Amazing Colossal Man, and various aliens: Mike Nelson Occasional extra characters, such as "Miracle Growth Baby (After)": Timothy Scott ("Miracle Growth Baby (Before)" was played by Jim Mallon's son Eli.) Q. Can Gypsy enter the theater? A. Yes; she's been there briefly in three shows (Untamed Youth, Wild Rebels or Hellcats, and Hercules and the Captive Women). In one episode, Gypsy tries to participate in the experiment, but isn't witty enough to keep up...or maybe she was just overcome by nausea. Q. What are the robots made of? A. Crow is mostly made of sporting equipment: Pingpong balls (the kind that glow in the dark, which explains their green-yellow hue on the set) for eyes; his pupils are square bits of electrical tape Plastic bowling pin for mouth His head (around his eyes) is a soap dish (!) Arms - adjustable desk lamp parts, with closed-cell foam tubing (the kind used to insulate water pipes) on the upper part Neck -- a Popeet toy Thing on the back of his head - hockey mask (Cooper XL7FG) Torso: a set of Tupperware from a set called "Floralier" plus part of another set. (It was a flower-arranging set. No longer made. The set consists of a tall conical vase that snaps into a short conical vase that then snaps onto a tray. Two trays, face to face make his shoulders and the vases are below, turned upside down. The whole thing is then spray-painted gold over its original white plastic. ) Legs -- he has 'em, but what are they made of? (They look like more lamp parts) Tom Servo is mostly made of toys: Gumball machine for head (it comes in that red color) made by Carousel Industries of Des Plaines, IL; the name for it is "executive snack dispenser". His beak has been spray-painted silver. Barrel from "Kid's Barrell Bank" for body Flashlight heads for shoulders Springs or slinkys for arms His hands are doll hands His base is made of foam tubing His hoverskirt is made from an inverted white plastic bowl which in a former lift had "Happy Halloween" painted on it in a seriously stupid font. The black doodads adorning the hoverskirt are pieces of black styrene vacu-formed over a toy "turbo train" engine. The "thing" on his chest might be some sort of toy engine block. Gypsy is made of household items: Flashlight for eye Child's car seat for head Hose for neck & body ("drain tile"; also used to frame the SOL's windows) Lips are foam tubing Cambot is made of ??: Rotating alarm light on top Some sort of hose, a la Gypsy Q. What are some of the items on the set? A. Items spotted so far include: All over the set: Assorted trays, drawer organizers, bowls, flower pots, ice cube trays, divided dinner plates, cups and silverware drawer trays. Left Side of Bridge: Speak and Spell (see ET movie), plastic baseball bat, badminton racquet, child's potty seat, motorman's helper, Hungry, Hungry Hippos game, Hot Wheels storage case (shaped like mag wheel), plastic bowling pins, large Millennium Falcon space ship (either model kit or action figure playset), "Trouble" game with pop-o-matic center, Playschool ball with shaped holes in it that kids put shaped blocks into, rubber tyrannosaurus, toy telephone, telephone handset, egg tray, toy race car. Joel's Desk in Center of Bridge: Two bases for plastic birdbaths turned upside down, at least 7 cameras and one big Polaroid-type camera, whiffle ball, plastic angel, hair curlers, small plastic bowling ball, spray can tops (the buttons). Over Main Door: Silverware trays, Hungry, Hungry Hippos game, 2 potty chair seats, 2 hockey-type shin guards, 2 plastic christmas lawn reindeer (upside down), front of a castle-shaped action toy playset (name unknown). Right Side of Bridge: Many, many toy horns and trumpets, many, many heart-shaped containers, 2 jello molds, 2 plastic baseball bats, plastic dish drain rack, another Playschool shape-ball, toy fencing sword, plastic ladle, plastic toy shovel, toy boat, toy crane, rubber brontosaurus, toy guitar or ukelele. Q. How come Tom Servo can't walk, but can sometimes move down the seats in the theater? (Just Relax :-) A. Tom Servo's means of locomotion is a hoverskirt; there's a heating grate on the way in to the theater that Joel has to carry Tom over. This is mentioned in passing as they're walking out of the theater during one of the earlier episodes (with Josh Weinstein). Q. If I want to show some of the episodes to a group, what do I do? A. To get permission to screen episodes in a public or semi-public situation, call the following person: Tony Fox Comedy Central 1775 Broadway 9th floor New York, NY 10019 Office: (212) 767-8746 FAX: (212) 767-8582 HBO controls the showing of the episodes under their contract with BBI, so they're the ones you'll have to talk to. Q. What is "Play MST for Me? A. It's a videotape made available for members of the fan club only. It contains songs from the various MST3K experiments. Q. What are the differences between seasons 1 and 2? A. The #2 mad scientist is Frank instead of Larry. Tom Servo's voice is different. The opening set is a larger model. The spaceship launch is more elaborate. The opening credits contain different clips. SOL background is 3D instead of painted set. Robot Roll Call has identifying letters instead of Joel staring into the camera. Cambot is different. Joel can be seen wearing different colored jumpsuits. Joel no longer eats grapes after hitting buttons. Q. Where have I heard "Satellite of Love" before? A. The Jerry Lewis Telethon people call the satellite the "Satellite of Love". It's also the title of a song first recorded by Lou Reed, and about to be covered by U2. Q. What are the words to the Weinerman song? A. I know a wienerman, He owns a wiener stand. He sells most anything From hot dogs on down. Some day I'll be his wife. We'll eat wieners all our lives. Hot Dog! I love that wienerman! Q. What are some of the running gags/most often used lines? A planet where apes evolved from men? (Planet of the Apes) Aaaugh! Don't DO that! ("Stinky" from the Abbott & Costello Show) Again with the finger! (The Sunshine Boys) All over the world! Ooo! Am I a CLOWN?! Do I AMUSE YOU?! (GoodFellas) Animals vill be bred und SLAUGHTERED! (Dr. Strangelove) And now Red in the Silent Spot. (old Red Skelton routine) And there, on the door handle, was a HOOK! (Traditional campfire story) Are you known for your work in the theater? (What's My Line?) B-doom Shing! (Comedy rimshot) Bad Touch! (various anti-child-abuse films) Before this decade is out we will put a man on the moon. (John F. Kennedy) Bird, LIVES, man! (i.e. Charlie Parker) Bite me. Busted! By this time my lungs were aching for air. (Lloyd Bridges' Sea Hunt) Charlie, they took my thumbs! (The Pope of Greenwich Village) Chicka-chicka Bwomp Bwomp! Chicka-chicka Bwomp Bwomp! (porno music) Chief! McCloud! (McCloud) Chili peppers burn my gut. (Side Hackers) Chopper always leaves you laughing. Ha haha ha ha ha ha (Takeoff on Bozo the clown's closing line) Deep Hurting! (Metholatum's "Deep Heating") Dibs! I got dibs! I said it first! Do you find me pleasing? Do I please you? (Star Trek, TOS; might also be from the "public speaking" short on MST3K) Do you want to go faster? (Yea!) Raise your hands if you want to go faster! (Yea!) Does this bug you? I'm not touching you. (Any five-year-old, or maybe from a Wayne Cotter routine) Don't look at me! Don't you look at me! Mommy! MOMMY! (Blue Velvet) Don't you do it! (An Officer and a Gentleman) Dweezle Dwyzle Dwazle Dwome. Time for this one to come home. (Tooter the Turtle) Enter? What ever happened to 'Come in?' (The Sunshine Boys) Faster, pussycat, kill, kill! (Russ Meyer title) Fisher! (nut commercial) Football practice! (Shocker) Game over, man! (Aliens) Get these spiders offa me! (parody of drunks w/DT's) Get your hands off me, you damn, dirty ape! (Planet of the Apes) Go to bed, old man! (Star Trek...maybe "Cat's Paw"?) Good night and may God bless! (Red Skelton) Gymkata! (Gymkata) Have a little fire, Scarecrow! (Wizard of Oz) He asked me! He asked me! (Monty Python) He is one weird mamma jamma. He tried to kill me with a forklift... (Fugitive Alien I) Heeeey! It's the Undersea Kingdom for you and for me and it's fiiiiiine! (Crash Corrigan and the Undersea Kingdom) Hellooooooooo, Baaaaaaaaby! (The Big Bopper) Hello, Cleveland! Rock and roll! (Spinal Tap) Hello, Shoil! (Laverne & Shirley) Hi-Keeba! (Women of the Prehistoric Planet) Honk! Shoo! Mimimimimimi! (Three Stooges snore--Moe, Larry, and Shemp) Hooker's a good cop! (TJ Hooker) Hot and spicy! Texas Style! How fortunate! This will simplify everything! (The Phantom Creeps, Episode 2, a la Bela Lugosi) Hurts, don't it? Tell your friends. (Roadhouse) Huzzah! (Ren Fest, or other renaissance festival) I *WILL* kill him! (Sting, from Dune) I am Kirok! (Star Trek, TOS) I am not an animal! I am a human being! (A Man Called Horse, and "Elephant Man") I can't turn it off! I don't know how it works! (variation on...) I can't bring it back! I don't know how it works! Goodbye, folks! (Wizard of Oz) I could sure go for some charbroiled hamburgers and french-fried potatoes. (Jungle Goddess) I do I do I DO believe in spooks! (Wizard of Oz) I don't think sooo. (Roger Rabbit, among others) I got nowhere else to go! (An Officer and a Gentleman) I had Jello today. I like you--that's why I'm going to kill you last. (Commando) I'll harm you! (Joe Besser) I'm Batman (Batman) I'm a Grimwold Warrior! (Saga of the Viking Women and... you know) I'm comin' Beanie Boy! (Beanie and Cecil) I'm coming 'Liz'beth! (Sanford and Son) I'm dead now. Please don't smoke. (Yul Brenner, ALA commercial) I'm feeling really good. (Gamera vs. Guiron) I'm going to give you such a pinch! (Joe Besser) I'm going to kill you! Why? Because you're going to die!" (various James Bond movies) I'm huge! (Cave Dwellers) I'm hysterical, and I'm wet, and I'm in pain! (The Producers) I'm made of liquid metal. (T2, a la Ahnold) I'm the god! I'M THE GOD! (Twilight Zone, "The Little People") I'm your boyfriend now! Blabblabblabblah! Interesting--but STUPID! (Laugh-in) It hurts! It really hurts! Is it safe? (Marathon Man) It is balloon! (F Troop) It puts the lotion on its skin. (Silence of the Lambs) It stinks! [w/ OK hand gesture] (Pod People) It was faaaaabuloooous! It's hot and it hurts and stuff. (Bactine commercial) It's my way or the highway. (Roadhouse) It's the Sunday Mystery Movie! Oooeeeooo! OooEEEooo! Jimmy Smitts (Switch) Join us! Just KILL it! Don't PLAY with it! Just shakin' the bushes, boss. (Cool Hand Luke) Koyaaaaanisqatsiiiiiiii!! (Koyaanisqatsi) Little pants! Look into your heart! (Miller's Crossing) Mazola corn goodness... (Mazola commercial) McCloud!!! (McCloud) MMMMMMMMENDOOOOOOOZAAAAAAAA!! (McBain, The Simpsons...who are both probably refering Robert DeNiro's character in "The Mission") Mm-HMMMMmmmm, that's good weed! (Carson, a la Art Fern) Mommy! Mommy! Don't look at me! I said never look at me! (Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet) My mother was a saint! (Public Enemy #1) N Y P D (NYPD) Nice tag! Nice swoon. Noooo!! (Cave Dwellers) No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die. (James Bond) Oh, I'd hate to shoot a butt like that. Oh, the pain, the pain... (Lost In Space) Ohhhh, lady! (Jerry Lewis) Oil Can! Oil Can! (Wizard of Oz) Oops, sorry! That was me... Ouch! I fell on my keys. (Wayne's World/The Producers) Pepperidge Fa-ahm remembahs. (Commercial) Puma? Puma! (Ring of Terror) Saaaaaaay! Saigon. I can't believe I'm still in Saigon. (Apocalypse Now) Seen it! (Hated it! Taped it!) Serpentine! (The In-Laws) Skipper! Little buddy! (Gilligan's Island) SLEEP! Smuckers jellies and jams... Spock! Spock! (Star Trek, TOS) SuperCaaaaar! SuperCaaaaar! (The old "Supercar" show) Thank you, I'll be here all week. Enjoy the buffet! (generic lounge singer) Thank you, (Tommy Kirk/Eugene Castle/etc.) for making us laugh at (love/winter/etc.) again. That's what I'm asking. I don't know! THIRD BASE! (Abbott and Costello) The horror! The horror! (Apocalypse Now, and Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" on which it was based.) The Invaders/The Time Tunnel/etc. In color! This is a Woozle. His name is Peanut. (Jeff Dunham Routine) This is not my beautiful wife/house! (Talking Heads, "Once in a Lifetime") This is the grandest of all! (Jack Perkins) This is this. (Phantom Creeps 1) This square bugs me! He really bugs me! (Wild Rebels) This was no boating accident. (Jaws) Throw me the whip! Throw me the idol! (Raiders of the Lost Arc) Thunderbirds are go! (Thunderbirds in Outer Space) Tonight on Emergency 911 (Emergency 911) Tonight, on a very special Trapper John, MD Top of the world, ma! (James Cagney in WHITE HEAT) Turned around and the hitchhiker was GONE! (urban legend; see also "Hold On, It's Coming" by Country Joe and the Fish, circa 1971) Wah, wah, wah, wah, waAaAaAaAaAaAa! (generic cartoon/sitcom muted trumpet) Wanna go to Lou's Place? Ooo-hoo LOU! Warriors, come out and play! (The Warriors) Watch out for the backdraft. (Backdraft) Water, the source of all life! (any nature special) We're gonna get a bigger boat, right? (Jaws) We're having an adventure--just like the Goonies! We're outta the dark; we're outta the woods; we're outta the niiiiiight...! (Wizard of Oz) Welcome to Death Valley Days. The driver is either missing or he's dead. (Ronald Reagan, Death Valley Days) Well it was about this time the Ol' Duke Boys... (Dukes of Hazzard) What about Scarecrow's brain? (The Wizard of Oz) What would McGyver do? What we have here is a failure to communicate (Cool Hand Luke) What's that, boy? Daddy's hurt? Down in deadrock canyon? (Lassie) When you're a jet, you're a jet all the way, man! (West Side Story) Works every time. Xanadu, stately home of Charles Foster Kane. Cost, no one can say. (Citizen Kane) You... are going... to die! Because I... am going... to KILL you! You and your friends are the only creeps around this place. (Wild Rebels) You *will* bow down before me! (Superman) You did it! You finally did it, Damn you all to hell! (Planet of the Apes) You die Joe! (generic Pacific-theater World War II movie) You go; I'm bitter. (Seven Samurai?) You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile. (Talking Heads, "Once in a Lifetime") You must sink the Bismarck. (Sink the Bismarck) You're not my real father! (Star Wars?) You've broken ape law. (Planet of the Apes) You've made the grade and the papers want to know whose shirts you wear! (Davie Bowie, "Space Oddity") Zack Norman is Sammy in Chief Zabu. (old Variety ad) Q. Is there an anonymous FTP site that archives this stuff? A. Yepper! Anonymous FTP site info: Location: "gynko.circ.upenn.edu" or "128.91.200.5" Directory: pub/rsk/mst3k/* PLEASE do not use this site between 8 am and 6 pm EST; the host machine is heavily used for research during those hours. Abuse of this policy will cause the anonymous FTP archives to go away. Q. What's in there, anyway? A. The Satellite of Love Newsletter is archived in the "soln" directory; various still shots are in the "images" directory; some audio samples are in the "sounds" directory; and some other supplemental information is in the "other" directory. Just follow the README files, which tend to explicitly list each item (provided I've got them up to date). Q. How can I get to view episodes I don't have? A. Post your request to the newsletter; we're all circulating the tapes. Alternatively, you might want to try sending mail to someone else on the mailing list (check the "From:" lines) who has commented on the particular show you want -- they probably have the tape. Q. What is the "Satellite of Love Newsletter"? A. It's an electronic newsletter that started in the late summer of 1991 to provide a way for fans of the show to communicate with each other. Issues come out erratically, although the editor has been heard mumbling something about "twice a month" recently, so this might actually represent some thinking about a semiregular schedule. In any event, the items in the newsletter are contributed by its readers, of which there are several hundred. To subscribe, drop a line to soln-request@gynko.circ.upenn.edu. Q. How do I submit items to the newsletter? A. Send mail to "soln@gynko.circ.upenn.edu" (This will cause the program that files my mail to put your letter in my mst3k folder.) Reminder: soln-request@gynko.circ.upenn.edu for administrivia soln@gynko.circ.upenn.edu for submissions Q. How do I get back issues of the newsletter? A. Check the anonymous FTP site at gynko (see above), or drop me a line; I'll probably automate this at some point. Q. Does Best Brains allow visits or provide tours? If you're going to be in the Minneapolis area and would like to visit Best Brains (in Eden Prairie), there are some things you should be aware of. 1. YOU MUST CALL FIRST! TOURS ARE ONLY BY APPOINTMENT, and they sometimes try to setup more than one group at a time if they are small. Also, Best Brains works on an 8 day production schedule (which does not include the weekend), and they only give tours now on Fridays when they aren't shooting the video for an episode (these are the "writing" days). This causes their free time to "rotate", and means that the actually available day for a tour is somewhat unpredictable. They are very busy people during production days. Since tours occur once or twice a month, you'll need to call at least 3-4 weeks in advance to arrange your appointment (and call them a few days before you intend to arrive to confirm that things haven't changed). Contact them at (612) 941-8024 (ask for Sarah if she's available); or via fax at (612) 941-8250. By the way, their address is: Best Brains, Inc. 7615 Golden Triangle Drive, #J Eden Prairie, Minnesota 55344 The tour lasts from 30-60 minutes; depending on what's going on, how big the group is, who happens to be in the office that day, your questions, etc. It goes quickly. 2. Since their mailing address is a P.O. Box, you'll need to knpw how to find them. The office is in Eden Prairie. Rather than post directions or address information here, Best Brains has asked me to say that they would prefer anyone desiring a visit to call them to get directions. They want to prevent people from accidently sending mail to the wrong address instead of the PO Box, and their office is a little tricky to find anyone (one way roads and such). Given that their fan club is growing extremely large rapidly, this concern is understandable and I respect their wishes. 3. The good news is that the TOURS ARE FREE, you can often buy some of the MST3k merchandise there directly, and THEY ALLOW YOU TO TAKE PHOTOS! However, THEY DO NOT ALLOW VIDEO OR MOVIE CAMERAS. Since the tour takes place on a real working day, people, props, and sets can be pretty disorganized. What you get to see sometimes depends on what is lying around. But, there is a chance you'll get to see/meet one of the familiar people involved in the production. If you promise not to feed them, they often will come over and talk for a while ;-). Q. Do they sell merchandise? A. Yes, through the information club. Currently available are T-shirts, posters, coffee mugs, lunch box, photos. Q. Why are Tom Servo's hands flesh colored on the mug, lunchbox, and poster? A. Tom Servo's hands and chest "engine" are now created by pouring plastic into a mold, because the original parts are hard to find. The plastic they use is the same plastic used in making hearing aids, hence the flesh color. They forgot to paint Tom's hands before taking the photos used in the mug, lunchbox, and poster. Q. Why is Tom Servo's head a cylinder in a few episodes? A. The folks at Best Brains thought it would look cool if Tom had a "haircut". Q. How many times has Tom Servo had his head blown off? Four. They were: The Corpse Vanishes (trying to think of a good thing about the movie); Robot Monster (trying to figure out how bumblebees fly); First Spaceship on Venus (sarcastism circuits overload); and The Rebel Set (don't remember how it happened, sorry). Additionally, in Fugitive Alien II, he comes completely apart. Q. How many seats are there seen in the theater? A. Seven. Q. Are there any questions that we don't have answers for yet? A. Yup. Like: How many times has SANDY FRANK been sung? How many grapes has Joel been seen eating? How many visitors has the SOL had? Q. Has anybody else written about MST3K? A. You bet. Included below is most of the rather massive bibiography put together by Lisa Jenkins; it includes numerous citations and references and all that stuff. Some of the referenced articles have been reprinted in the SOLN. Lisa's key symbols: # Actual article * Photocopy & Don't have article - Not on disk/sent to SOLN Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: November 25, 1981 Headline: See the Twin Cities Top Comedy Bananas Photo: [Hodgson and the other seven finalists from the first annual College Comedy Competition, missnamed as the Cabaret Comedy Competition.] Page(s): 39 Note: Ad for Comedy Cabaret with the finalists of the competition. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: November 25, 1981 Headline: Preview and Recommendations Photo: The Eight finalists in the TCR/Comedy Cabaret Comedy Competition, this weekend at Comedy Cabaret, 26th and Hennepin, Mpls. Fri., Sat., Sun. 872-0400. [Hodgson and the other seven finalists, different picture than the ad.] Page(s): 43 Note: A "best bets"-type ad. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: February 25, 1982 Headline: Preview and Recommendations Subline: Special Events Page(s): 19 Note: A "best bets" ad for Hodgson's appearence at the Comedy Cabaret. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: March 11, 1982 Headline: Comedy comes to downtown Minneapolis Photo: Joel Hodgson/Comic Mgcian/Winner of 1981 Campus Comedy Contest [Hodgson in stand-up garb with party remants around him.] Page(s): 44 Note: Ad for Hodgson headlining at the Comedy Gallery for its grand opening. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: March 18, 1982 Headline: Comedy comes to downtown Minneapolis Photo: Joel Hodgson/Comic Magcian/Winner of 1981 Campus Comedy Contest [Hodgson in stand-up garb with party remants around him.] Page(s): 26 Note: Full page ad for Hodgson headlining at the Comedy Gallery. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: March 18, 1982 Headline: Preview and Recommendations Subline: Comedy Page(s): 27 Note: A "best bets" ad for Hodgson's appearence at the Comedy Gallery. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: March 25, 1982 Headline: Preview and Recommendations Subline: Comedy Page(s): 31 Note: A "best bets" ad for Hodgson's appearence at Dudley Riggs ETC Benefit for Camp New Hope. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: April 1, 1982 Headline: Preview and Recommendations Subline: Comedy Page(s): 23 Note: A "best bets" ad for Hodgson's appearence at the Comedy Gallery. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: April 8, 1982 Headline: Held Over For Final Week Photo: Joel Hodgson [in stand-up garb.] Page(s): 22 Note: Ad for Hodgson at the Comedy Gallery. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: June 10, 1982 Photo: [Hodgson in cut-out of publicity photo.] Page(s): 15 Note: Ad for Hodgson at the Comedy Cabaret. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: June 10, 1982 Headline: Preview and Recommendations Subline: Comedy Author: Hopp, D. Page(s): 26 Note: A "best best" ad for Hodgson's appearence at the Comedy Cabaret. Source: Minneapolis Tribune* Date: June 16, 1982 Headline: Comic Makes World of Difference at Cabaret Subline: A review Author: Steele, Mike Page(s): B3 Note: Review of Hodgson's stand-up act at the Comedy Cabaret. Source: St. Paul Dispatch* Date: September 9, 1982 Headline: Funnymen Fight to Knock Out Competition with Punchlines Photo: Oops! Back to the drawing board for this card trick being attempted by comedian Joel Hodgson, who specializes in white dinner jackets and a stupid look. Hodgson will join other comedians in the first- ever Twin Cities Comedy Invitational competition beginning next Thursday. [Hodgson with cards flying in mid-air.] Author: Protzman, Bob Page(s): B1, B10 Source: St. Paul Dispatch* [reprinted in part in St. Paul Pioneer Press*, page C5, same date] Date: September 30, 1982 Headline: Backstage: Tricky Comic Wins Local Contest Photo: Joel Hodgson is a "bad" magician but a good comic, good enough to win first place and $500 in the finals of the First Annual Twin Cities Comedy Invitational last Sunday night. [Hodgson holds up a Mystery Date game board.] [Photo not included in reprint.] Author: Protzman, Bob Page(s): B2 Source: Minneapolis Tribune* Date: October 1, 1982 Headline: Local Comedian Gets Last Laugh in Competition Photo: Joel Hodgson [with cards flying] Author: Strickler, Jeff Page(s): C4 Note: Hodgson wins Twin Cities Invitational. Source: St. Paul Dispatch* Date: February 17, 1983 Headline: Backstage: Finn's Dropping Gags, but New Club May Open Author: Protzman, Bob Page(s): B2 Note: Hodgson on Letterman show. This is from a column. >From St. Paul Dispatch*- Date: April 7, 1983 Headline: Hometown success Photo: [Joel Hodgson in stand-up garb.] Page(s): B12 Note: Picture and caption for Hodgson's return to the Twin Cities. Source: St. Paul Dispatch* Date: August 4, 1983 Headline: TC Comedians Find LA Success Photo: Joel Hodgson: He passed 'acid test' [Hodgson in "high school"-like photo.] Author: Protzman, Bob Page(s): B1, B7 Source: Minneapolis Tribune* Date: March 18, 1984 Headline: Three Area Comedians Think Los Angeles is the Way to Go Subline: Welcome to Hollywood Subline: COMICS: 'Time bomb' created a hubbub Photo: Photo for the Star and Tribune by Jackie Sallow. Jeff Cesario, left, and Joel Hodgson in front of the Comedy Store. [Hodgson looks *very* shy!] Author: Bream, Jon Page(s): G1, G12 Note: Hodgson's adventures in the "Big Time." Source: St. Paul Dispatch* Date: October 18, 1984 Headline: Joel Hodgson Coming Home to Say Farewell to Comedy Subline: [On page B13 only.] Hodgson: Comedian will try writing, teaching Photo: Twin Cities comic Joel Hodgson will be doing what he bills as a farewell show, titled, "Hello, I Must Be Going," at the Comedy Gallery Wednesday through Oct. 27 and again Oct. 31-Nov. 4. [Hodgson perfecting that shy look.] Author: Protzman, Bob Page(s): B1, B10 *and* B13 Source: Minneapolis Star and Tribune* Date: October 25, 1984 Headline: Comic Hodgson Quits While He's Ahead Subline: Comedy's fun, but it's time to get back to reality. Photo: Joel Hodgson [still perfecting that shy look.] Author: Strickler, Jeff Page(s): C1, C8 Note: Hodgson explains why he's come home. Source: Interview* Date: December 1984 Headline: The Seven Faces of Comedy Photo: Joel Hodgson photographed by Frank Schramm [Hodgson in glasses, water goggles, shirt and tie, spewing water from his mouth.] Author: Borns, Betsy Page(s): 68-69 Note: Hodgson talks about working for the "Big Time." Source: Minneapolis Star and Tribune* Date: April 8, 1985 Headline: Crystal Court Never Meant for Standing Room Only Author: Flanagan, Barbara Page(s): B1 Note: This is a column. Hodgson sold his props. Source: Minneapolis Star and Tribune* Date: May 5, 1986 Headline: Seinfeld and Hodgson Subline: Comics Team Up for Cable Special Photo: Jerry Seinfeld, left, and Joel Hodgson with a smoking mug, for people who like a cigarette with their coffee. Author: Covert, Colin Page(s): C1, C11 Note: Hodgson's work for HBO comedy special; note his preliminary work on MST3K. Source: St. Paul Pioneer Press Dispatch* Date: June 8, 1987 Headline: Wacky Hodgson Returns to Stage Subline: Review Author: Protzman, Bob Page(s): C8 Note: Hodgson's return to stand-up comedy. Source: St. Paul Pioneer Press Dispatch* Date: April 21, 1988 Headline: Comedy: Toying With Laughs Again Photo: DEADPAN-HANDLING: Comedian Joel Hodgson says his Comedy Gallery appearances will be "an official comeback." [Hodgson side-ways glances in tux.] Author: Protzman, Bob Page(s): D4 Source: St. Paul Pioneer Press Dispatch* Date: April 22, 1988 Headline: When Joel Comes Out to Play, Everyone Has Fun Author: Protzman, Bob Page(s): B7 Note: Review of Hodgson's new stand-up act. Source: St. Paul Pioneer Press Dispatch* Date: June 24, 1988 Headline: Showtime to Tape Area Comics Author: Protzman, Bob Page(s): B8 Note: Hodgson and others to be taped for Showtime's Comedy Club Network show. Source: Skyway News*- Date: November 17, 1988 Headline: Entertainment will heat up the winter Photo: Joel Hodgson [with his squirt flamethrower boutonniere.] Author: Mabery, D.L. Page(s): 10 Note: A "best bets" ad for Hodgson at the Comedy Gallery. Source: Minneapolis (Minnesota) Star and Tribune&- Date: November 20, 1988 Headline: IT'S A SCI-FI THANKSGIVING CELEBRATION Photo: [Hodgson in *long hair!* and the original Crow.] Author: [none] Page(s): TV Week 39 Note: Ad for first two episodes Thanksgiving night. Source: St. Paul Pioneer Press Dispatch*- Date: November 20, 1988 Headline: IT'S A SCI-FI THANKSGIVING CELEBRATION Photo: [Hodgson in *long hair!* and the original Crow.] Author: [none] Page(s): TV Weekly 32 Note: Ad for first two episodes Thanksgiving night. Source: Minneapolis (Minnesota) Star and Tribune* Date: December 19, 1988 Headline: TV Supplies Witty Companions to Help Watch Bad Old Movies Photo: Staff Photo/John Croft 'Mystery Science Theater 3000' host Joel Hodgson with robot friends Crow, left, and Gypsy. [Original Crow with Joel in original outfit and original Gypsy on orginal set. Original!] Photo: Home viewers see the silhouettes of Joel Hodgson and the two robots in the front row of seats as they watch the movie. On the screen here is the monster Gaos. [Crow sits on Joel's left and, I think, Gypsy is on his right. The "movie screen" is like a very large TV screen.] Author: Matheny, Dave Page(s): E1, E4 Note: "Local" review of MST3K along with incites in Hodgson's workshop and the making of the original show. Note: I don't have a copy of the photos. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: January 18-24, 1989 Headline: [none] Photo: _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ host Joel Hodgson becomes "The Gizmocrat" at the Comedy Gallery Riverplace, starting Wednesday. [Hodgson in usual plublicity shot.] Page(s): 34 Note: Plublicity spot for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: January 25-31, 1989 Headline: 168 Hours Subline: Comedy Page(s): 17 Note: "Best bet" ad for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: January 25-31, 1989 Headline: The Gizmocrat is Back!!! New and Improved!!! Photo:[Hodgson in usual plublicity shot.] Page(s): 20 Note: Ad for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: February 1-7, 1989 Headline: The Gizmocrat is Back!!! New and Improved!!! Photo:[Hodgson in usual plublicity shot.] Page(s): 23 Note: Ad for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: March 1-7, 1989 Headline: April Fools Live! Photo:[Hodgson in usual plublicity shot.] Page(s): 17 Note: Ad for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: March 15-21, 1989 Headline: 168 Hours Subline: Comedy Page(s): 26 Note: "Best bet" ad for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Star Tribune&- Date: March 16, 1989 Headline: [unknown] Author: [unknown] Page(s): E6 Note: Mentions Hodgson in KMSP-TV special. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: March 22-28, 1989 Headline: "Seriously Weird Magazine" a comedy magazine show Subline: hosted by: Joel Hodgson & Sue Scott Page(s): 21 Note: Ad for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: March 29-April 4, 1989 Headline: 167 Hours Page(s): 22 Note: "Best best" ad for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: March 29-April 4, 1989 Headline: April Fools Live! Page(s): 35 Note: Ad for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: May 17-23, 1989 Headline: Laff Off Photo: [Floating head plublicity shots of Frank Conniff, Trace Beaulieu, Mike Nelson and Josh Weinstein, among others.] Page(s): 29 Note: Ad for Laff Off competition. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: May 17-23, 1989 Headline: Live at the Guthrie Photo: JERRY SEINFELD Observational comedy at its very best with special guest JOEL HODGSON [in usual plublicity shot.] Page(s): 33 Note: Ad for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: May 24-30, 1989 Headline: Laff Off Photo: [Floating head plublicity shot of Frank Conniff, among others.] Page(s): 25 Note: Ad for Laff Off competition. Source: Twin Cities Reader* Date: May 31-June 6, 1989 Headline: T.V. Subline: _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ The Last Voyage? Photo: Joel Hodgson and Crow in "The ultimate couch potato show." [Joel with *long hair* and original Crow on original set.] Author: Brauer, David Page(s): 19 Note: MST3K has been put "on hiatus" from KTMA TV23. Source: Star Tribune&- Date: June 5, 1989 Headline: MST Live! Photo: [Joel with long hair and original Crow.] Page(s): E9 Note: Ad for MST "live" show at Comedy Gallery. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: June 7-13, 1989 Headline: Live at the Guthrie Photo: JERRY SEINFELD Observational comedy at its very best with special guest JOEL HODGSON [in usual plublicity shot.] Page(s): 30 Note: Ad for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: June 21-27, 1989 Headline: 168 Hours Subline: Comedy: Ongoing Page(s): 18 Note: Mentions Hodgson's and Weinstein's stand-up acts. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: June 21-27, 1989 Headline: 168 Hours Subline: Comedy: Monday Page(s): 18 Note: "Best best" ad for Hodgson's stand-up act. Source: Star Tribune* Date: August 6, 1989 Headline: [unknown] Photo: [Joel plays guitar while original Crow peers on.] Author: Kaplan, Steven Page(s): Sunday Magazine 4-6 Source: Minnesota Daily [University of Minnesota paper] Date: August 18, 1989 Headline: Bachelor of Comedy Author: Burns, Lisa Page(s): 4 A&E Note: Interview with Josh Weinstein during hiatus between KTMA's production and the Comedy Channel's purchase of MST3K. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: September 27-October 3, 1989 Headline: The Comedy Gallery Subline: Frank's Chop House Photo: [Plublicity shot of Frank Conniff.] Page(s): 21 Note: Ad for Laff Off competition. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: October 4-10, 1989 Headline: 168 Hours Subline: Comedy Author: Surowicz Page(s): 19 Note: "Best bests" ad which mentions Hodgson and Conniff. Source: Twin Cities Reader* Date: October 11-17, 1989 Headline: _Mystery Science Theater_: A New Mission Photo: [Joel with original Crow and original Tom.] Author: Brauer, David Page(s): 71 Note: MST3K picked up by HBO's Comedy Channel. Source: St. Paul Pioneer Press Dispatch* Date: October 13, 1989 Headline: Hodgson Takes Act to HBO Photo: [Unfortunately only of Bob Protzman. Ew!] Author: Protzman, Bob Page(s): C3 Note: MST3K moves to the Comedy Channel; Land O'Loons III. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: October 18-24, 1989 Headline: [none] Photo: Rising comedy star Josh Weinstein joins Lizz Winstead and friends in a "Stand Up for Choice" abortion rights education benefit at Hennepin Center for the Arts on Monday. [Weinstein in plublicity photo.] Page(s): 45 Note: Plublicity spot for Weinstein's stand-up act. Source: Skyway News*- Date: November 2, 1989 Headline: 5 to 9 Subline: Comedy Author: Mabery, D.L. Page(s): 14 Note: "Best bets" ad for Hodgson's stand up. Source: TV Guide* Date: November 11, 1989 Headline: Can These Folks Tickle Your Funny Bone? Photo: Joel Hodgson [in jumpsuit; mid-jump motion] Author: Polskin, Howard Page(s): 17-19 Note: *Bad* review! Source: St. Paul Pioneer Press Dispatch* Date: December 6, 1989 Headline: Comics are Funny, but Tamer, in 'Loons 3' Author: Lambert, Brian Page(s): B10 Note: Review of Land O'Loons III. Source: Twin Cities Reader*- Date: December 6-12, 1989 Headline: 168 Hours Subline: Television: Wednesday Author: Surowicz Page(s): 17 Note: "Best bests" ad for Land O'Loons III. Source: Star Tribune* Date: April 1, 1990 Headline: Great Fun If You Can Get It Subline: Cover Story Cover photo: Joel Hodgson/ Dave Matheny writes about the local comedian's return to TV on the HBO cabel Comedy Channel [l-r, Crow, Hodgson, Servo on old set from first CC season] Photo: Joel Hodgson [in jumpsuit next to planet.] Author: Matheny, Dave Page(s): TV Week 1, 3, 34 Note: "Local" review of MST3K after it went to the Comedy Channel. Source: TV Guide* Date: August 25, 1990 Headline: Cheers and Jeers Subline: Cheers Photo: [Hodgson "spinning" planet on finger.] Author: [unknown] Page(s): 23 Source: The New York Times* Date: September 6, 1990 Headline: Wry "MST 3000" a Trash-Film Treat Photo: Droll Host: Joel Hodgson Author: Schultz, Paul Page(s): [unknown] Source: People's Weekly# Date: October 8, 1990 Headline: Picks & Pans Author: Hiltbrand, David Page(s): 9-10 Note: Short review. Source: Time* Date: October 29, 1990 Headline: My In-Law, the Housefly Subline: Off-the-wall comedy flourished in out-of-the-way places Photo: Hodgson of _Mystery Science Theater 3000_: Movie heckling in outer space [Joel leaping in space.] Author: Zoglin, Richard Page(s): 95 Note: Short review. Source: People Weekly* Date: December 31, 1990-January 7, 1991 Headline: Picks & Pans Subline: Best of Tube Author: [unknown] Page(s): 15 Note: MST3K one of top 10 shows. Source: Entertainment Weekly*- Date: January 18, 1991 Headline: News & Notes Subline: The Last Laff Author: Svetkey, Benjamin Page(s): 6 Note: MST3K salvaged from comedy TV merger. Source: Rolling Stone* Date: January 24, 1991 Headline: Comic Enterprise Photo: Joel Hodgson with robot friends [l-r Gypsy, Crow, Joel, Servo] Author: [unknown] Page(s): [unknown] Source: Corporate Report Minnesota* Date: April 1991 Headline: The Million-Dollar Sight Gag Subline: Joel Hodgson and partner Jim Mallon have parlayed a comic bit using robots, B movies, and smart-alecky commentary into a lucrative cable TV deal Photo: Hodgson (front) and Mallon: "*Okay*, Mr. White Male Reality!" (Photograph by Bill Miller.) [Gypsy, Crow and Servo surround Hodgson and Mallon on the Satellite of Love, bathed in a light purple glow.] Author: Brauer, David Page(s): 40-43, 45-46 Note: Interview with Hodgson and Mallon on the business side of Best Brains. Source: The Milwaukee Journal* Date: May 30, 1991 Headline: Drama's out, laugh machines in Author: Drew, Mike Page(s): D4 Note: MST3K salvaged from comedy TV merger. Source: USA Today* Date: May 31, 1991 Headline: Wired for Weirdness on Cable Subline: TV Preview Author: Roush, Matt Page(s): [unknown] Source: Post Date: June 1991 Headline: Open House: Exacting Science Fiction Subline: Comedy TV's sci-fi laugher retro-rockets into the "future" via IVL Post. Photo: Space Camp: _Mystery Science Theater_ conjures the early days of TV by running very bad movies which the keyed-in talent watches (in silhouette) and criticizes. [Photo of Joel on the bridge of the Satellite of Love flanked on the left by Crow and on the right by Tom Servo.] Photo: High tech for low tech: IVL's Paulson uses Ampex ADO, Zeus and Vista switcher to create the retro look. [Photo of interior IVL control room.] Author: Stokes, Jim Page(s): [unknown] Note: Techie; for those into video FX. Source: Wall Street Journal* Date: July 8, 1991 Headline: Revenge of the Critic Subline: Television: _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ Author: Goldberg, Robert Page(s): A7 (west) or A5 (east) Source: New York Times* Date: July 12, 1991 Headline: Comic's Notebook Subline: [] a New Cable Channel, Looking for a Laugh Photo: Joel Hodgson, the host of "Mystery Science Theater 3000," with one of his heckling props. [Crow.] Author: O'Connor, John J. Page(s): [unknown] Source: Entertainment Weekly* Date: August 16, 1991 Headline: On Location: Crummy Movies, Funny Jokes Subline: Lips and Laughs on Cable's Clever _Mystery Science Theater_ Photo: WEIRD SCIENCE: MST creator Hodgson with Crow (left) and Tom Servo [right] (Photograph by Kevin Horan) [Joel gives us a most pitiful look with a rare side-view of the satellite.] Author: Svetkey, Benjamin Page(s): 49 Source: The Washington Post* Date: August 17, 1991 Headline: TV Preview Subline: On Cable, Three Jeers For B-Movies Author: Mills, David Page(s): [unknown] Source: The Washington Post* Date: November 27, 1991 Headline: 'MST3K' Means Fine Television Subline: 'MST3K,' Delighting in Really Bad Movies Photo: Joel Hodgson of "Mystery Science Theater 3000." [With Crow and Servo.] Photo: Joel Hodgson of "MST3K." [With Tom Servo from Turkey Day.] Author: Shales, Tom Page(s): B1-B2 Source: USA Today*- Date: November 13, 1991 Headline: Television Subline: Inside TV Author: Johnson, Peter Page(s): D3 Note: MST3K gets ACE nomination. Source: Mademoiselle* Date: February 1992 Headline: Movies from Outer Space Subline: Think bad movies are hell on Earth? You're not alone Photo: Joel Hodgson and friends [l-r Gypsy, Crow, Joel, Servo] Author: Rosenbaum, Ron Page(s): 54-55, 60 Note: Outrageous! Source: San Francisco Chronicle Date: February 3, 1992 Headline: Tom Servo Explains It All Author: Carrol, Jon Page(s): [unknown] Source: The UCSD Guardian Date: February 6, 1992 Headline: [unknown] Author: Snell, Jason Page(s): [unknown] Source: Entertainment Weekly* Date: February 21, 1992 Headline: A "Mystery" Made for Mail Order Photo: Dog Bone: Demon Dog, a Mystery Science Big Seller Author: Benjamin Svetkey Page(s): 42 Source: Pulse!* Date: March 1992 Headline: The Art of Heckling: "Bad print, bad sound, bad for you." Subline: The _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ TV series takes revenge on killer b-movies Photo: Our hosts: Crow, Joel and Tom Servo [l-r Crow, Joel, Servo] Author: Weidenbaum, Marc Note(s): Pulse! associate editor Marc Weidenbaum looks forward to _Citizen Kane: The MST3K Edition_. Page(s): 128 Source: Satellite Orbit* Date: March 1992 Headline: Out of This World Author: [unknown] Page(s): 28 Source: New York Post* Date: March 10, 1992 Headline: "Mystery Science Theater" Movie Author: M.G. [unknown] Page(s): [unknown] Note: About MST3K movie. Source: Rolling Stone*- Date: March 19, 1992 Headline: [unknown] Photo: The lady in the lake: The Pail and Shovel party buries the Statue of Libery in icy waters. [Statue of Liberty looks like it's burried in the lake while three people walk around it.] Author: [unknown] Page(s): 68 Note: About Jim Mallon's Pail and Shovel party from college. Source: Satellite TV Week# Date: March 22-28, 1992 Headline: 'MST 3000's' Spacey Comedy Appeals to Earthlings Cover photo: Sci-Fi Guy: Joel Hodgson of _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ [Hodgson with hands on hips in spacey background] Photo: Joel Hodgson with buddies Crow (left) and Tom Servo [right]. Photo: "MST 3000's" mad scientists, Frank (Frank Conniff, left) and Dr. Clayton Forrester (Trace Beaulieu [right]). Author: Williams, Wendy Page(s): Cover, 1 Source: TV Guide# Date: April 18, 1992 Headline: Big Fans on Campus Author: Cary, Alice Page(s): 31 Note: What college campus kids are watching on TV. Source: Springfield News-Leader Date: June 4, 1992 Headline: Fun With Bad Flick Author: Hughes, Mike Page(s): D4 Source: The Washington Post Date: June 5, 1992 Headline: Defying Gravity Subline: TV Preview: Comedy Central's Wonderful Bad Movies Author: Shales, Tom Page(s): Style [?] Source: People Weekly# Date: June 8, 1992 Headline: Picks & Pans Subline: Tube Author: Hiltbrand, David Page(s): 13 Note: Short preview of fourth season. Source: Chicago Sun-Times Date: June 11, 1992 Headline: 'MST 3-K' Twists Old Flicks Into Wild Glee Photo: Joel Hodgson cracks wise during moldy old B movies on _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ at 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. Saturdays on Comedy Central. [Typical publicity shot of Joel and all three 'bots on the bridge of the SOL.] Author: Grahnke, Lon Page(s): 2:45 Source: City Pages#- Date: July 1, 1992 Photo: [from top to bottom: planetoid; Gypsy, Crow, Joel and Servo; Frank and Forrester; Joel and the 'bots in theater seats.] Page(s): 30 Note: Ad for IT'S ALIVE! Source: Skyway News# Date: July 7, 1992 Headline: Comedy: Down to Earth Subline: Joel Hodgson comes in from outer space to do 'Mystery Science Theater' at the Uptown Theatre. Photo: Joel Hodgson and his robot pals Crow (left) and Tom-Servo (right) are getting a break from cable TV to perform live theater. No word yet on what robot Gypsy (center) will be doing. [Photo from first season.] Author: Zurowski, Cory Page(s): 20-21 Note: IT'S ALIVE! preview Source: City Pages# Date: July 8, 1992 Headline: Arts: Live Action Wacky Rolling Figures! Subline: Mere tapeheads no longer, the folks at _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ are taking it to the streets. Cover: The Final Frontier: Mystery Science Theater goes live (Sutton, 14) Photo: [Of Gamera breathing fire while Joel and the 'bots look on from their theater seats.] Author: Sutton, Terri Page(s): 14 Note: IT'S ALIVE! preview; fowl language by author (really) Source: Twin Cities Reader# Date: July 8, 1992 Headline: Comedy Subline: _Mystery Science Theater 3000_: Goofs in the Machine Cover: TV FOR THE CULTURAL ELITE: _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ Comes of Age Photo: Joel Hodgson and friends [Crow, right; Servo, left with their RAM chips] aboard the newly debugged "Satellite of Love." Author: Miller, Mark Page(s): 24-25 Note: IT'S ALIVE! preview Source: Star Tribune# Date: July 10, 1992 Headline: The Mystery Science show touching down at the Uptown Cover: VARIETY: Stage shtick: Cable TV's 'Mystery Science Theater' offers Uptown show Photo: Staff Photo/Rick Sennott Joel Hodgson and his robot sidekicks on the set of "Mystery Science Theater 3000," which is touching down at the Uptown Theatre tonight. [From 1-r, Gypsy, Crow, Joel and Servo.] Author: Holston, Noel Page(s): A1, E1, E4 Note: IT'S ALIVE! preview; interview with *characters* Source: OMNI# Date: August 1992 Headline: Behind the Screen at Mystery Science Theatre [sic] 3000 Cover: Laughing at the Future With Mystery Science 3000 [sic] Contents: Comedy Central's hottest show stars robots and terrible movies. Photo: [Dr. F and Frank stand back-to-back; in contents section.] Photo: Sweetly plaintive space exile and MST creator Joel "Robinson" Hodgson (far left). [Joel with tilted head.] Photo: Editors: Robot stars and their "mortal souls" (center, left to right): Gypsy/Jim Mallon, Crow/Trace Beaulieu, and Tom Servo/Kevin Murphy. [In the workshop with white lab coats and 'bots.] Photo: Evil scientists: "TV's Frank" Conniff (opposite page, right) [Frank makes face] and Beaulieu as Dr. Clayton Forrester (center) [Forrester makes face], together in _The Amazing Colossal Man_ [you wish!] (above). [Forrester pulls out the big needle.] Photo: Toolmaster Jef Maynard and some techno-wizardly "home cooking" (above). [Maynard makes skull space craft.] Photo: Look out below, it's Godzilla! He's making things hot for his sci- fi foes, but he's the one "getting roasted" by captive film critics (left to right): Tom Servo, Joel, and that metalloid Marx Brother, Crow. [Gamera blowing steam as the threesome watch from the theater.] Author: Long, Marion Page(s): Cover, 4, 34-36, 40, 70 Source: Star Tribune#- Date: September 5, 1992 Headline: IT CAME FROM THE FAIR! Author: Matheny, Dave Page(s): E1, E2 Note: Best Brains comments on gizmos at the Minnesota State Fair. Source: Skyway News#- Date: September 29-October 5, 1992 Headline: Calendar Subline: Comedy: Saturday, Oct. 3: "Stand-Up for Choice IV." Author: Bacskai, Andrew Page(s): 22 Note: A "best bets" ad for comedy benefit with Frank Conniff and Josh Weinstein among others. Source: City Pages#- Date: September 30, 1992 Headline: Stand-Up for Choice IV Page(s): 17 Note: Ad for comedy benefit with Frank Conniff and Josh Weinstein among others. Source: City Pages#- Date: September 30, 1992 Headline: Night & Day Subline: Saturday 3: Comedy: Stand-Up for Choice IV Author: Sutton Page(s): 20-21 Note: A "best bets" ad for comedy benefit with Frank Conniff and Josh Weinstein among others. Source: Twin Cities Reader#- Date: September 30-October 6, 1992 Headline: Stand-Up for Choice IV Page(s): 33 Note: Ad for comedy benefit with Frank Conniff and Josh Weinstein among others. Source: Twin Cities Reader#- Date: September 30-October 6, 1992 Headline: Calendar Subline: 3 Saturday: Comedy: World Theater Author: Smith, Mary Ellen Page(s): 41 Note: A "best bets" ad for comedy benefit with Frank Conniff and Josh Weinstein among others. Source: Premiere# Date: November 1992 Headline: Fine Tuning: Cable Ready Photo: "MST3K": Say cheese. [Servo, Joel, Crow, Gypsy, Dr. F and Frank with planetoid and coffee cups.] Author: Kirk Cordero, Caroline Page(s): 123 Source: USA Today* Date: November 25, 1992 Headline: Critic's Choice Photo: by Anthony Neste/"JOEL HODGSON: Mystery Science Theater 3000 host" [Joel "spins" planet on finger.] Author: Roush, Matt Page(s): D [unknown] Source: The Washington Post* Date: November 26, 1992 Headline: Play Mistee [sic] for Me Subline: All Mistee-Eyed Over 'MST3K' Photo: "Joel Hodgson and his zany robot pals on 'Mystery Science Theater 3000'." Author: Shales, Tom Page(s): B1, B4 Source: Campus Voice# Date: December 1992 Headline: Diversions Subline: Mystery Science Theater 3000: Wiseacres in Space--Bad movies on cable? Nothing new. But bad movies made funny? Welcome to Mystery Science Theater 3000, cable TV's best-kept secret. Photo: Godzilla photograph from movie still archives; hand-coloring by Don Dudenbostel/[Hand-painted Godzilla distroys town; hand-painted planetoid hangs over city; silhouette of Servo, Joel and Crow at bottom.] Photo: Best Brains Inc./The characters of _Mystery Science Theater 3000_: (left to right) Tom Servo, our hero Joel Robinson, Crow, Gypsy, mad scientist Dr. Clayton Forrester (Trace Beaulieu), his henchman "TV's Frank" (Frank Conniff). [All with coffee cups.] Inset: [on other "pages" with small Godzilla picture] Mystery Science Theater 3000: Cable TV's cult hit mixes sci-fi and sarcasm. Author: Gardner, Lee Page(s): [none; poster magazine] Source: Seventeen* Date: December 1992 Headline: Cool Talk Photo: _Mystery Science Theater 3000_ photo, Michael Kienitz. _MST 3000_ illustration, Ed Melnitsky. [Usual promotional photo of Crow, Joel and Servo with drawn theater seats at the bottom.] Author: [none] Page(s): 42 Source: Entertainment Weekly# Date: December 4, 1992 Headline: Credits: Look Who's Watching Subline: Movie critics are all over TV. Here's our view of the good and the god-awful. Photo: Hodgson with Crow (left), Servo Author: Appelo, Tim Page(s): 12 Source: Entertainment Weekly#- Date: December 11, 1992 Headline: Jim Mullen's Hot Sheet Subline: What the country is talking about this week... Author: Mullen, Jim Page(s): 8 Source: Entertainment Weekly#- Date: December 11, 1992 Headline: Shop Around the Clock Subline: From _Coach_ balls to _House_ dolls, TV trappings for all hours of the day. Photo: Photography by John Wilkes [A variety of TV merchandise, including MST3K's "Fluid Containment Vessel" somewhat hidden at the bottom of the pile.] Author: Meyers, Kate Page(s): 54 Source: Cyberspace Vanguard Magazine Date: January 6, 1993 Headline: "JOIN US:" INSIGHT INTO THE CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED _MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000_ Author: Jenkins, Lisa Page(s): [unknown; electronic magazine] Source: Newsweek* Date January 18, 1993 Headline: Television: Hip Lips Dis Yucky Flicks Subline: A cable cult hit roasts moviedom's turkeys Photo: Michael Kienitz/One-liners for every level of brow: Shooting up another dog on MST3K [Dr. F pulls out the Amazing Colossal needle while Frank holds the cotton wad.] Author: Waters, Harry F. Page(s): 65 Source: The Washington Post* Date: [unknown] Headline: Tom Shales's Best Bets of '91 Author: Shales, Tom Page(s): [unknown] Note: From list of author's favorite shows. Source: Los Angeles Daily News* Date: [unknown] Headline: Comedy Series on Cable Gives Bad Movies a Good Talking To Subline: Television Photo: Joel Hodgson and his two robot pals on _Mystery Science Theater 3000_, who give a running commentary as they're forced to watch bad movies. [l-r Gypsy, Crow, Joel, Servo] Author: Moca, Diane Joy Page(s): [unknown] Source: Montgomery [Alabama] Adverstiser* Date: [unknown] Headline: 'Science Theater' Scores with Bombs Subline: Review Photo: SPACE COMEDIAN: Joel Hodgson has appeared on 'Late Night' [Joel with hands on hips in spacey background.] Author: Harmon, Rick Page(s): [unknown] to D4 Source: Minneapolis Star and Tribune# Date: [unknown] Headline: Best Bet: Laugh With a Prop Comic Photo: [Hodgson with his squirt flamethrower boutonniere.] Author: Covert, Colin Page(s): [unknown] Note: Small review of Joel's stand-up performance. Source: The Milwaukee Journal* Date: [unknown] Headline: [unknown] Subline: From UHF to Cable Author: Drew, Mike Page(s): [unknown] Note: Local Hodgson makes MST3K. Source: [unknown] Date: [unknown] Headline: Upclose Subline: Joel Hodgson and his sci-fi space cadet sidekicks turn trash into treasure on Mystery Science Theater 3000 Photo: MST 3000's Crow, Joel Hodgson and Tom Servo [pictured l-r] Author: E.K. [unknown] Page(s): [unknown] Q. Who wrote this stuff? A. The people who contribute to the newsletter; I'm just the editor. Among the many folks who have sent along information, notes, and general silliness, are: Bill Dennen, Brian Perler, Chad (Mr. B) Jackson, Charles R. Hoynowski, Chris Cooley, Chuck Jordan, Chuck Tomasi, Dale Holod, Dave Spensley, David Arnold, Donald Cotnoir-Strong, Donna K. Lang, Ed Hughes, Ed Klein, Ellen Sasse, Frank G. Neves, Gerald M. Guglielmo, Jamie Green, Jason Corley, Jeremy Billones, Joel A. Schenkenberg, John D. Shull, Johnny Klonaris, Jonathan Hughes, Joshua R. Poulson, Kevin Murray, Lance Visser, Larry Hastings, Lon Ponschock, Lynn-Anne Friese, Malcolm Austin, Mark Carson, Mark Meyer, Markus De Shon, Marty Hoff, Mary Lynn Johnson, Matt Duhan, Nina Eppes, Patrick Delahanty, Patrick Fitzgerald, Patty Winter, Paul Ashley, Paul Thrasher, Phil Mueller, R'ykandar Korra'ti, Rich Kulawiec, Steve Simmons, Synth F. Oberheim, The Punster, Todd Johnson, Tom Wilson. , Will Silver, William Harrison, William Sherman, and special thanks to Lisa Jenkins for voluminous updates and additions, to Keith Barrett for the BBI Tour info, to Cliff Chaput for the large list of oft-repeated phrases, and to Brian Siano for massive updates to the episode guide. If I've forgotten someone, please let me know. Copyright Rich Kulawiec, 1991, 1992, 1993. Rip this off and we'll kill you with a forklift.